Tonight is the night

Matthew MacLennan
3 min readSep 29, 2022

I change forever

Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

Ironically, this took me many nights to write.

I think it’s because I wasn’t actually ready to change…despite the title.

I would begin this article and imagine what I would be feeling to have tonight be the night I change.

So fake.

I put a stake in the ground, without anything to ground me.
Without anything to found me.
Nothing too shocking given I
had no installation of a foundation.

To take days to write an article about changing tonight is so predictable: It’s so predictable that I would state something and then act to the contrary — expecting not to be called out for lacking integrity or the courage to ask for help.

Well,

Tonight is the night I change. Forever. Tonight is the night I recommit. Tonight marks the starting point of re-enabling measures to prevent myself from devolving into victimization, defensiveness and aggressiveness. Tonight is the night I live and move and act to be a better father, husband, brother. I can make mistakes, apologize and improve. The power in one way is in my hands, but in another way, it’s in God’s hands.

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Matthew MacLennan
Matthew MacLennan

Written by Matthew MacLennan

A recovering narcissist. I want to see your eyes and face your questions.

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