Tonight is the night
I change forever
Ironically, this took me many nights to write.
I think it’s because I wasn’t actually ready to change…despite the title.
I would begin this article and imagine what I would be feeling to have tonight be the night I change.
So fake.
I put a stake in the ground, without anything to ground me.
Without anything to found me.
Nothing too shocking given I
had no installation of a foundation.
To take days to write an article about changing tonight is so predictable: It’s so predictable that I would state something and then act to the contrary — expecting not to be called out for lacking integrity or the courage to ask for help.
Well,
Tonight is the night I change. Forever. Tonight is the night I recommit. Tonight marks the starting point of re-enabling measures to prevent myself from devolving into victimization, defensiveness and aggressiveness. Tonight is the night I live and move and act to be a better father, husband, brother. I can make mistakes, apologize and improve. The power in one way is in my hands, but in another way, it’s in God’s hands.
